A Reading List for Spiritual Goners
Goner - Slang: a person or thing beyond help or recovery, esp a person who is dead or about to die
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The sincere spiritual seeker is someone for whom the internal wish to just be without fear, to be free, is so overwhelming that they feel at times that they might literally have an aneurysm, collapse, or go insane. There comes a point in the seeking of said individuals where everything has fallen in on itself. Everything has been burnt to ashes. All the scaffolding has been kicked out. And it appears that not only is there no way forward, but there is in fact no way anywhere, because there is no way, there is no path.
And yet, one still feels the deep-set, blazing, pressurized wish to go further! So the question arises, what the hell does one do when, all alone, they've been completely backed into a corner, and they're trapped in a paradox? What the hell even is one at this point? To answer this question, I refer to the term 'Goner', which I was inspired to use after reading Louis Brawley's intoxicating book Goner: The Final Travels of UG Krishnamurti. A goner is beyond help. They're fucked, lost, dying, dissipating, and useless, and yet, what defines the spiritual goner is the fact that from that position they have the foolhardy and absurd audacity to...continue.
As you can imagine, and I assume some of you know, this situation is home to very little company, and is anathema to the idea of community, guides, and gurus altogether. However, like the madman staring at the world and writing Grotesque...grotesque..., the bearded local walker jotting down birdsong, or that strange fellow down the road who writes poems for no one, it's intriguing to read of others in this situation. What exactly is it they're mapping? What is it they're even doing? To quote Brawley:
“I don’t even trust my fucking emotions!” I cried.
Mahesh thought this was great!
“Finally, my dear! You are having feelings about all this! That’s it, man! You are not finished yet. Leave all that spiritual shit out, what is it you want? You have to finish this! I told him you wanted to see him one last time, he said you can come in, but no talking...” (Goner, p334)
That's what Goners are doing, they're fucking finishing this. So here's a list of Goners, in no particular order, in the process of finishing it.
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Goner: The Final Travels of UG Krishnamurti, Louis Brawley, 2011
The Penguin U.G. Krishnamurti Reader, Mukanda Rao, 2007
Notes on Nothing: The Joy of Being Nobody, Anonymous, 2024
Blood-Soaked Buddha/Hard Earth Pascal, Noah Cicero, 2017
The Lazy Man’s Guide to Enlightenment, Thaddeus Golas, 1971
Life Is Real Only Then, When I Am, G.I. Gurdjieff, 1974
In Search of the Miraculous, Pyotr Ouspensky, 1949
The First and Last Freedom, J. Krishnamurti, 1954
Freedom from the Known, 1969
Ridding Yourself of Unhappiness, Barry Long, 1985
Only Fear Dies, 1994
Self & Unself, Darren Allen, 2021
The Fire Sermon, 2024
The Book of Love, 2025
Spiritual Enlightenment: The Damnedest Thing, Jed McKenna, 2001
Spiritually Incorrect Enlightenment, 2004
Jedvaita articles
The Open Secret, Tony Parsons, 2001
I Hope You Die Soon, Richard Sylvester, 2006
I Am That, Nisargadatta Maharaj, 1973
Out of Your Mind, Alan Watts, 1998
Listen, Little Man!, Wilhelm Reich, 1945
Against His-story, Against Leviathan!, Fredy Perlman, 1983
Moby Dick, Herman Melville, 1851
Nothing to Grasp, Joan Tollifson, 2012
Death: The End of Self-Improvement, 2019
God Men Con Men, Robert Carr, 2003
Silence of the Heart, Robert Adams, 1997
The End of Your World, Adyashanti, 2004
The Escape To Everywhere, Paul Hedderman, 2015
Acceptance of What Is...A Book About Nothing, Wayne Liquorman, 1999
Awakening to the Dream, Leo Hartong, 2003
Consciousness Speaks, Ramesh Balsekar, 1992
Who Cares?!, 1999
Our life with Mr. Gurdjieff, Thomas and Olga de Hartmann, 1972
Be As You Are, Ramana Maharshi, 1985
Spiritual Cannibalism, Rudi, 1973
The Albigen Papers, Richard Rose, 1978
The Forest Passage Ernst Jünger, 1951
Dismantling the Fantasy, Darryl Bailey, 2007
Collision with the Infinite, Suzanne Segal, 1996